Find a Marriage Therapist That’s a Good Fit For You

Since therapy is so much about opening yourself up and asking for the help of a professional, feeling comfortable in the presence of your therapist is key to working out your conflicts. As Linda James, M.Ed., M.S, a marriage and family therapist explains, it can be nerve-racking for patients to open up to a third party, especially when they feel like that other person is going to be judging them. While James insists that therapists are not there to judge, but rather to offer assistance, it is still important to have a positive relationship with the one that you choose.

So how do you know which therapist will be right for you and your family? James offers her professional opinion on how to do a preliminary search to find the right candidate, and how to be positive that you’ve made the right decision.

• First, you must make sure that the person you decide on is licensed to practice in your state. Most therapists will have information about themselves and their education background on their website, but don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and call their office also. In some states, it is not required by law to have a license, but James strongly discourages seeking anyone other than a highly educated, licensed professional for your therapy sessions.
• Ask for referrals. Your friends and family may not openly admit that they are going to, or have gone to see a counselor. But perhaps if you mention that you were thinking of looking for one, they may feel comfortable sharing with you that they have gone too. If that’s the case, then ask them who they see. If you are a little more reserved, and would rather not share the information with others, then ask your perspective therapist for the contact information of his past clients. You should never blindly go to see a therapist, says James, do your homework.
• Look at the type of therapy they specialize in and the theory that they use. Some therapists use a solution focused therapy method which focuses on formulating solutions instead of analyzing current problems. Others, like James, prefer the systems theory, which looks at your past relationships. There are dozens of methods, but you should speak to someone whose technique you are comfortable with.
• Even more important than the type of theory the therapist uses is the way you feel about him. James offers a half hour consultation with clients to help them get a feel for how she conducts her sessions. If a therapist is not willing to talk with you beforehand to answer any questions you may have, or just to give you an opportunity to get to know him, then he probably isn’t the person for you.

Since making the decision to introduce counseling into your life is such a major choice, you have to be savvy about who you ask for help. Hundreds of great therapists are out there, all of whom would be a perfect fit for your family and their needs. Using James’ tips, now you can get out and find them.