Laws are usually enacted in order to protect or serve the general populace, and to establish a code of conduct for how one should behave in civilized society. But in a country where every citizen has their own standard for what is considered “civilized,” it’s not surprising that some of the laws designed to control us end up stupid, scary or just plain weird.
In Texas it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
Below are some of the states with the strangest laws on this side of the Atlantic.
Alabama
Alabama is known for its rich history of racism, intolerance and stupid laws. So steeped is it in stupid laws that it’s recommended that you read up on the latest trend in nonsensical law-making in the state before you find yourself looking for an attorney outside Montgomery, AL because you kicked off your shoes in the car. Because in Alabama, driving a car without shoes is illegal.
Another good example of why we love the backwards-thinking, crazy state of Alabama is the law that stipulates how big a stick you can beat your wife with, namely: it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
And alluding to its stained history involving racism and the Ku Klux Klan, there is even a law that states Masks may not be worn in public.
But if that’s not enough, then the laws stating that incestuous marriage is not deemed illegitimate and it is illegal to flick boogers into the wind should be all you need in deciding whether or not this state is right for you.
Massachusetts
If you were to take the polar opposite of the neo-conservative, crazy red-state that is Alabama, you would get the neo-liberal, crazy blue-state that is Massachusetts.
And as with any extreme state, Massachusetts has its fair share of ridiculous laws.
For instance if you were in Boston, MA cheering at a Red Sox game, you might not realize that all those people who start the Star Spangled Banner and then trail off out of boredom are violating the law. That’s because it is illegal to sing only a portion of the Star Spangled Banner in public.
Other laws that will make sense with any of those native to MA but piss off anybody from out of town are those concerning booze. MA is very strict with alcohol, even to the point that it is illegal for candy to contain more than 1% alcohol and it is also illegal to give alcohol to a hospital patient.
And to prove that Massachusens are just bat-sh%t crazy, it’s also illegal to dance on a Sunday. Unless, of course, you’re folk dancing.
On the other hand, MA is one of the only states where gay marriage is legal, which makes it incredibly difficult for alcoholic, break-dancing homosexual couples to decide whether or not to move there.
Florida
Florida is commonly known as the Sunshine State, but when you consider all the crazy laws to come out of there, you have to wonder if at a certain point that sunshine might go to their heads.
Regardless, they’re apparently worried that too much hot air will go to their heads, since they’ve already made it illegal to fall asleep under a hair dryer, much to the dismay of seniors everywhere.
Additionally, as if having fallen out of nowhere, there is a law that states unmarried women can not skydive from a plane on Sundays, – a law so rigidly enforced that one could be arrested for it.
But not only grannies and women get it from the law, apparently it is illegal to skateboard in a police station. Take that you punks!
However, in case those laws weren’t obscure enough, they decided to throw one in there that makes it illegal to tie an elephant to a parking meter, unless the normal parking fee is paid, of course.
Essentially, don’t go to Miami without a proper attorney.
New York
New York, New York - big city, bright lights and dim-witted politicians who pass stupid laws for the fun of it.
That’s right, in case you didn’t know, the City That Never Sleeps is also known for having a ridiculous history of law-making that apparently is a result of those endless nights.
Because in New York, there are laws that range from making it illegal to walk around on Sundays with an ice-cream cone in ones pocket to stating women may not walk around wearing body-hugging clothes, – though I take it that male police officers don’t enforce the latter.
Additionally, there is even a law stating it is considered misconduct for one to greet another by placing their thumb to their nose and wiggling their fingers. But that one I’m okay with because people who do that are losers anyway.
However, what I’m not okay with is the law that says it is illegal to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun. If I can’t throw a ball at someone’s head for fun, why the hell would I ever throw a ball at someone’s head?!
But at least know there’s someone in New York who likes to have a little fun, because otherwise why would somebody go through the trouble of passing a law stating the penalty of jumping off a building is death, unless they were a comedian?
Funny guy!
Texas
Rounding off this list is one that nobody should be surprised about – Texas.
Yep, in a state full of Cowboys, its only a matter of time before someone goes shooting their pistols off in the courtroom, demanding things like making it illegal to milk someone else’s cow, or prohibiting one from shooting a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
But it gets better! Despite it being a state where people sit at home all day rocking on their porch drinking beer with their shotgun in their laps, the entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Also, because cities like Dallas, TX have amongst the highest crime rates in the country, they have passed a law that says criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or written, before committing a crime. You know, because criminals are such law-abiding citizens and all.
And finally, if you were thinking about rebelling against all the stupid laws in Texas, know that you must do it within reason – because it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts, such as a Mohawk or spikes.
Conclusion
Hire a lawyer before going on vacation.
The Florida law saying it is illegal to tie an elephant to a parking meter makes sense to me. Ortherwise, how would people know if the elephant they eat is free-ranging or stall-fed?
Not from Miami – April 24, 2009 , 3:39 PM
lmao…body hugging clothes…yea rite
Moon – May 13, 2009 , 3:46 PM
From Repeal Utah's Sodomy Laws: "Utah's sodomy law was nullified by the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on Lawrence, et al v. Texas in June of 2003, however it remains in Utah Code. The sodomy law has been used in Utah to villify gay and lesbian citizens, including being used to justify not protecting them from hate crimes. The law also criminalizes a large portion of Utah's non-gay citizens in that it makes oral and anal sex a crime."
Rights for all – May 20, 2009 , 1:35 PM
[...] Top 5 States with the Weirdest Laws Because cities like Dallas, TX have amongst the highest evildoing rates in the country, they have passed a law that says “criminals are requisite to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or written, before committing a crime.”Tags: cities, committing, country, crime, criminals, dallas, highest, hours, like, notice, states, weirdest Tags: crime, Tags, notice, criminals, LawsBecause, notice states, country, Weirdest [...]
Top 5 States with the Weirdest Laws – November 30, 2009 , 2:11 PM
That's hilarious. Our government is retarded.
jeanettestephens – February 28, 2010 , 7:30 AM
Ben Goldman is an idiot! There is nothing wrong with most of the laws! The laws don't hurt anyone they are all for the better.
Joe – March 2, 2010 , 4:07 PM
A few of the laws are necessary. Driving without shoes is a safety hazard. If you don't believe me try it and see how unusual it feels and see how many times you have think before you can find the brake or clutch!
Masks can't be worn in public is gaining ground, mostly due to robberies and burglaries on the rise due to the economy.
I don't like people who throw their cigarette butts out the window, why would I want them to throw their boogers out?
Body hugging clothes is an obvious reference to the NYC's infamous and now defunct 42nd street, where there used to be an abundance of hookers.
Milking someone else's cow is theft right? Should your neighbor be able to siphon gas from your vehicle?
MPA – March 3, 2010 , 1:30 PM
These are all old laws that were made a long time ago. Yes, they are still ridiculous but at one point, these laws may have been more appropriate for the times. There is also another law in Florida that you cannot spit on the sidewalk. At one point, maybe a lot of people had a mouth full of saliva or more likely in Florida, of dip, and were spitting like camels on every thing! Silly, yes. Doesn't need to be to in the law books anymore.
Ruthie – March 3, 2010 , 2:42 PM
Great law about spitting. Wish we had that law in Texas. How about a law everywhere, that prohibts people from blowing their nose at a restruant. I am tired of that and the spitting.
concerened2010 – March 3, 2010 , 5:10 PM
Opps, Restaurant. Maybe, we need a law for mispelled words on Blogs. Oh, no blowing your nose in public places. Only, in public restrooms.
concerened2010 – March 3, 2010 , 5:13 PM
You are an idiot! Come on you know these laws are crazy like you.
concerened2010 – March 3, 2010 , 5:15 PM
Say what you like, but most of these “Necessary Laws” as you phrase it are covered under other laws which also exist…
Masks worn in public… Robberies and Burglaries are still illegal, no? Why arrest someone for trying to keep warm?
People throwing their boogers out? Really? A necessary law? Really?
Barefoot driving is no more awkward than driving in flip flops, should they be added to the law, or should the law itself be removed?
Body hugging clothing? When phrased like that, you're leaving a wide range for judgement calls about what “body hugging” is. Also, isn't prostitution illegal as well?
Milking someone else's cow? That would fall under theft, and the person would be prosecuted as such. No reason to bring the person up on two charges just because they stole milk from a neighbor's cow rather than stealing gas from their car.
Joe – March 3, 2010 , 9:49 PM
The best part about this is that each of these things happened at least 1 time for them to make a law about it!! We should not be laughing at the laws made and enforced by the government, we should be laughing at the idiots that tried these things!!
silly. – March 3, 2010 , 10:36 PM
Wow, this is pretty funny…The national anthem thing doesn't surprise me because it's insulting if you don't know it. “Body hugging clothes”? I seriously want this law in my community, there's too many people where I live wearing tube tops and weighing 160+. Indecent exposure much? The buffalo one is funny too because it makes you think, “Hey, honey! I'm gonna go pretend to be a sniper and shoot that big ol' buffalo down there!” Some do make sense (like the “hair dryer” law) but seriously, I don't see any elephants in Miami.
EvilLemon – March 4, 2010 , 2:04 AM
I always drive without shoes (not illegal here) and in fact I drive worse WITH shoes because I CANNOT feel the pedals as easily. Oh, and I have Never, in over 30 years, had an accident. I feel the brake and clutch just fine.
siera_hotel – March 4, 2010 , 10:18 PM
y cant i use a bigger stick to beat my wife with?………………just kidding lol
colt – March 4, 2010 , 10:56 PM
Mmhm, I totally agree with you that the masks law is gaining ground. That's why juvies fill up every halloween.
zurk – March 5, 2010 , 5:30 AM
I bet that you didn't know that it is illegal in the state of Florida to have sex with a porcupine. But it is. Look it up!
bgail71 – March 5, 2010 , 6:10 AM
Don`t you dis Texas boy, my home state is the ONLY state that has the LEGAL right to secede from the Union if so decided. Their flag flies at the same height as the US flag, all others fly below it, check it out! It`s also the only state that is the most recognized world over. Show some third world country kid a picture of the US and ask them where Texas is, you`ll get the right answer. Ask about Arizona, New Mexico, New York or any other state and see what you get…..NOTHING.
ragingbear – March 5, 2010 , 4:40 PM
It's not illegal to piss someone off, yet most of these laws are laws because they pissed off someone with power who didn't mind abusing that power. abuse off power is what should be illegal
riccochet – March 5, 2010 , 4:48 PM
Mexico would have drifted away by now , but texas sucks so mexico is still there.
Riccochet – March 5, 2010 , 4:52 PM
most of you guys are idiots, this website was intended to be funny and a ton of your postings have some sort of serious undertone quoting this or stating that. lighten up morons.
fedup626 – March 5, 2010 , 6:24 PM
Another good example of why we love the backwards-thinking, crazy state of Alabama is the law that stipulates how big a stick you can beat your wife with, namely: it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
This law is based on an Elizabethan-era law in England. It is the source for the aphorism “Rule of Thumb”
RJ Armstrong – March 5, 2010 , 6:47 PM
Who cares? Has anyone used the laws lately? And that kid just proves why theres a law.
ida_slapter – March 5, 2010 , 7:44 PM
ROTFL! No state has the right to secede from the Union, hence the Civil War? Remember that one? You are living in a dream world if you think Texas has some god given rights no other state does. I don't care if the state declares it by law or their Supreme Court says they can.
MPA – March 6, 2010 , 12:46 AM
The civil war does not support your claim, it only supports that the government used violance to prevent secession. Any state has the legal right to secede, even the Declaration of Independance states the same. TX, however is one of 2 states (hawaii being the other) that was legally recognized as an independant nation by other countries after it defended against mexico. It does have the right to fly it's state flag at equal height as the American flag… the other 48 states do not have that right . So, yes, TX has a history and stature that most states do not have.
TXHistProf – March 8, 2010 , 5:34 AM
I live in Texas and I don't even know anyone with a rocking chair on the front porch, I can't even think of a single house with a chair on the front porch, in our Texas hometown. Shotguns? If they have them, they aren't on the front porch, they are locked up in the gun safe. PS… they sell Encyclopedias in Texas and all the public and school libraries have them, too. Mostly people just look things up on the internet now, though.
butters – March 8, 2010 , 6:00 AM
Texas doesn't suck, and by the way, it is about the only state that isn't flat broke. We also have NO state income tax here, yet we run a multi billion dollar surplus in our state coffers. Most people here were born in other states, yet got here as fast as they could. Everyone I know in my neighborhood is a college graduate, doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher, nurse…
butters – March 8, 2010 , 6:01 AM
MPA: I never wear shoes when I drive, I am 59, I never get tickets, I am a very safe driver. It is impossible to wear most women's shoes while driving, the heels get stuck under the gas peddle… deadly.
butters – March 8, 2010 , 6:03 AM
Okay I challenge you to prove what federal law or treaty or agreement that give Texas or any state for that matter the right to become independent. Like I said, the Civil War is evidence that once you become part of the union it is permanent. I don't know of any federal law that forbids any state from flying their state flag equal to the US flag. I believe that is a matter of choice. Again if you have some legal facts please post them.
MPA – March 8, 2010 , 7:10 AM
Come and tell me to my face that Texas sucks and you'll get a Texas size a@@ kicking.
jjjjjjjc – March 8, 2010 , 4:53 PM
hello ben what type of movie is it/ iam sure you will do great all the younger male film makers make it big but it takes alot of hard work and payshunts spelled wrong but you know what i mean my son josh is trying to become an film director hes pretty goo hes 30 noe hes donig a film with alot of cool people its non paid to them but some benfits and good experience. have a great life. dawnmariecole2gmail.com hey if you might be interested in meeting my son about what hes trying to do since you both have the same job in mind you could email him a couple pointers that would be cool. joshmihal@gmail.com or this one dawnmarie54@gmail.com i messed up on it the first time anyway have a good day. the cole family.
dawn cole and or josh mihal – March 8, 2010 , 11:04 PM
You may have found those “municipal” laws in some cities in Texas, but….that isn't state law. They aren't in the Texas Criminal and Traffic Law Manual of 2009-2010. I doubt some of the other stuff exists as state laws also in the other states. Some cities make weird laws such as you can't serve beer and pretzels in Richmond, VA. That's true. Your Texas laws….check them. You're giving false impressions of a state government when its probably a town of a hundred people with their own “municipal”…or city….laws.
z1nonly – March 9, 2010 , 5:19 PM
I don't know where you got the Texas laws from, but it isn't state law. It is more than likely a municipal, or city, law. Cities make weird laws like that. Check the Texas Criminal and Traffic Law Manual of 2009-2010. It is not in there. I can't speak for the other states, but what you said makes Texas look bad as a state…when it is probably a city of a hundred people that made this law for their city. Hopefully the other laws you stated aren't made by municipalities in other states. Then you made them look bad too.
z1nonly – March 9, 2010 , 5:25 PM
There was a law called “The rule of thumb” and it allowed a man to beat his children and spouse with any object that was not bigger than his thumb. This is believed to have been a law brought from England to the US. Many states have removed this law from their books. Many local domestics violence facilties (including the ywca) use this rule as an example for domestic violence awarness. You can contact them for more accurate info. Also, most of these law and many others can be found in a book called “looney laws”.
mal1 – March 10, 2010 , 1:07 AM
SERIOUSLY WHO DOES NOT LIKE TO GET ORAL SEX??? EVERY BODY DOES IT!!!! THAT IS A STUPID LAW!!! I BET YOU 99% OF THE WORLD GIVES AND RECEIVES ORAL SEX!!!!!!!!
STUPID LAWS – March 10, 2010 , 5:05 AM
Actually I have dated two girls who rather give than receive oral sex.
MPA – March 10, 2010 , 5:19 PM
One look at the dorky kid with is dorky haircut is enough to justify that particular law banning unusual haircuts. WHY do little children need stupid haircuts and hairstyles in the first place? They can “express” themselves when they're 18.
mtnmedic64 – March 10, 2010 , 6:52 PM
In my home state of Oregon, the vehicle code says you don't have to have a windshield on your car but you had BETTER have a working windshield wiper!
mtnmedic64 – March 10, 2010 , 6:54 PM
One look at the dorky kid with his dorky haircut in the photo above and you, too, will feel the Texas law banning stupid haircuts on kids is perfectly justified. WHY do little kids have to have stupid haircuts and stupid hair styles? Parents who succumb to these ridiculous demands are weak and spineless. These kids can “express” themselves in any way their hearts desire when they turn 18.
mtnmedic64 – March 10, 2010 , 6:56 PM
Not true! I live in Alabama, and that rule of thumb law is actually for Arkansas, we also happen to be one of the only states where you can drive barefoot, due to our beaches. Also, you can wear masks in public, thousands of people do during Mardi Gras. Whoever wrote this article should do a little more research… this is very inaccurate.
annabanana84 – March 10, 2010 , 9:21 PM
re Alabama flicking booger….so the cops do not establish priorities….they rather ticket illegal booger disposal than dangerous criminals or they do not have crimes in that state
linda fr florida – March 12, 2010 , 1:43 AM
Kids are going to ber rebellious like we were when we were their age, however, if you get a haircut like that you are either stupid, you lost a bet or your parents have the same haircut… That's right I said it…
Raymond – March 12, 2010 , 4:27 PM
Texas also enforces the death penalty wich i believe every state in the US should. ROCK ON TEXAS!!!
muttl3y – March 13, 2010 , 12:49 AM
The origin of “Rule of Thumb” as used to refer to a measurement or quick standard is lost to time. Indo-European languages use the same or a nearly identical word for the inch as a unit of measurement as for the thumb. If this were ever law as has been claimed, it should have been found written down by now. It has not been. Any reference to it, including by courts of the recent few centuries, is merely propagation of an urban myth. That phrase or a similar one is found in languages throughout European countries so it isn't specifically English.
The earliest citation ever found comes from Sir William Hope’s The Compleat Fencing-Master, second edition, 1692, page 157: “What he doth, he doth by rule of thumb, and not by art” That doesn't sound to me as if it has anything to do with wife beating.
In 1675, Sir Matthew Hale wrote, “The salva moderate castigatione in the Register is not meant of beating, but only of admonition and confinement in the house in case of her extravagance; which the court agreed, she being not as an apprentice.” Quoted in Green, Nicholas St. John. (1879)
You could beat an apprentice, though. That was pretty common back then but it had nothing to do with the size of your thumb.
Zimminger – March 13, 2010 , 1:27 AM
Personally I love driving without shoes!! I've done it for years and years!! I think it is much safer because I can feel the pedal better. I don't do it as often anymore because I don't want to get a ticket. Although I don't know if it is legal or not here. I've lived in many states so I just wear shoes to make sure!
Siera - I agree totally!!!!
Also some of these laws are good for people who just don't have any common sense or decency. The worlds morals have gone down the drain!!
LadyDee10 – March 15, 2010 , 1:39 PM
beating with a stick: it is legal to beat your wife with a stick on sunday only on the courthouse steps in va.
dooall – March 15, 2010 , 2:19 PM