After spending half of his career as a tax, corporate, and business attorney, Arnold Goldstein of Goldstein Law Offices in Illinois says that his practice started to move more towards the direction of family law, and specifically divorce cases. Since that time, Goldstein has met with scores of clients all of whom have different needs and reasons for seeking a divorce.
Even though admittedly, divorce is a unique subject for each couple, there are a few commonalities across the board, Goldstein says. Particularly, he advises anyone who is contemplating the end of their marriage to follow these steps before filing for divorce — stop, look, and listen. While it may seem elementary, his advice has helped numerous clients regain control of their situation.
Stop…
- Talking about your circumstances and your complaints. Instead of telling everyone you know about how horrible your situation is, start preparing for your divorce. You should especially keep your plans from your spouse as otherwise you may be giving away your entire strategy, he says. If you are planning to go after a certain savings account, or want to fight for full custody, only share those ideas with your attorney.
- Depositing money into joint accounts, a 401k, and pensions. Until you are legally divorced, all of these assets will be divided equally between both parties. If you continue to add to these accounts, then you are basically giving your spouse more money.
- Using your old passwords. Since you will probably be corresponding with your lawyer via email or fax at some point, you need to make sure that your spouse cannot access these documents.
- Calling your attorney with every little question. Attorneys will charge you based on the number of hours they spend working on your case. If you call every time you have a small problem, then the attorney will have to stop what he is doing to look for your file, answer your questions, and make note of what was discussed — and, you will be billed for this too. Instead, in an effort to keep your costs down, compile a list of questions that can be answered all at once during a planned conversation. Or better yet, send your attorney an email with all of your inquiries.
Look…
- At the type of mail he is receiving. In a number of cases, he says, more assets have been discovered once you start looking at incoming mail. If something that appears to be a bank statement arrives, and you are unaware of an account open at that branch, make note of it. You should also pay attention to advertisements that come in from financial institutions as well. Even if your spouse is having his statements sent via email, it’s common for the bank to send mailers from time to time.
- At your tax returns. It’s not uncommon for important documents to start disappearing once you announce your intent to divorce. Goldstein recommends making copies of tax returns, bank statements and property titles so they can be used in your case.
Listen…
- To your attorney. Before you start spewing out information that you think is imperative, think about the specific questions your attorney is asking you. Remember, while this may be your first divorce, it’s not your lawyers’ first case, and his advice will help you in the long run.
- During negotiations. Fight the urge to argue with your spouse or disclaim what his lawyer is saying. It’s important for you and your attorney to understand the other side’s position.
This article is for informational purposes only. You should not rely on this article as a legal opinion on any specific facts or circumstances, and you should not act upon this information without seeking professional counsel. Neither publication of this article nor your receipt of this article creates an attorney-client relationship.
