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Is There Such a Thing as Too Much “I Love You?”

Elliott Connie | October 22, 2009

.” These are three little yet magical words that every person wants to hear at some point or another. One could analyze the meaning of those words on so many levels and come to the conclusion that “” is certainly not a term to be taken lightly. Or is it?

It’s interesting to think about the evolution of the term “” within the average relationship. In the earlier stages of a relationship, those words serve as a bold, emphatic declaration that one person has carefully decided to share with the other. Often times, the term “” serves to take the relationship at hand to the next level, propelling it from “fun” to “meaningful” with one simple statement. However, as the years go by, the term tends to get thrown around more and more, and what was once a truly romantic statement becomes a commonplace phrase around the home. In fact, over the course of a marriage, the words “” might even begin to take the place of ordinary expressions such as “See you later,” “Have a good night,” or “Goodbye.” The more comfortable two people are with each other, the more likely they are to have a conversation wherein one person says “I’ll meet you at the restaurant at six,” and the other person responds with “” instead of nodding and saying “yes.”

While it’s natural for two people in a committed relationship to express feelings of love towards one another on a regular basis, with frequent use comes the possibility of turning the words “” into something that people eventually grow to say by rote. In order to avoid having those special words lose their meaning, should people make a concerted effort to minimize those “” moments?

According to licensed professional counselor Elliott Connie, there’s no need for people to skimp on the words “.” A believer in open and productive communication, Dr. Connie would not encourage a husband to withhold those words from his wife if they happen to float their way towards the forefront of his mind. On the other hand, if those words are to retain the same special significance that they had back when that first “” was uttered, then the person saying them should really make an effort to remember to mean them. After all, there are plenty of ways in which a person can communicate with his spouse in order to convey positive feelings. The words “” should represent more than just a generally nice feeling towards the other person in the room; they should represent a genuine emotional and romantic feeling that one person is delighted to share with another.

If a husband decides to prepare a dinner dish that is one of his wife’s favorites, then she can express her gratitude in one of two ways; she can either say “thank you,” or she can say “.” According to Elliott Connie, it’s perfectly okay to use the term “” as an extension of the term “thank you” as long as the wife in question truly concentrates on its connotation and conveys its meaning.

Remember, the words “” can pack quite the powerful emotional punch. Because of this, they shouldn’t simply morph from extraordinary statement to communicative habit. So go ahead and tell your partner “” 100 times a day if you’d like. Just make sure that when you say those three magical words, they truly come from the heart.

About Elliott Connie

Author Name

Elliott Connie is a licensed professional counselor in Texas and the author of The Art of Solution Focused Therapy. He focuses on couples, family and substance abuse counseling in his private practice in Keller, TX. He received his BA and masters degrees at Texas Wesleyan University and is currently a PhD student in Family Therapy at Texas Woman’s University.

Elliott E. Connie, MA, LPC

(817) 412-7452
1660 Keller Parkway Suite# 103 Keller, TX 76248 http://www.elliottconnie.net

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