Rhinoplasty, or in a more common term, ‘a nose job’, is an ancient plastic surgery technique that has been used on men and women for over two thousand years. People, for whatever reason, have found the need to re-shape their nose since the ancient Indian, Sushruta, pioneered plastic surgery around 500 BC. In his day, the need was a little more dramatic than our modern-day ones: his patients had their noses cut off as a means of punishment for various crimes!
Did Ashlee Simpson get a nose job? You decide.
Today’s patients can have nose jobs just for cosmetic reasons and do so by the millions each year. I had a rhinoplasty done on me many years ago because of breathing problems and the main things I remember about the whole experience was that breathing and bleeding are two very important functions of the body.
Breathing is something we all take for granted, I suppose, and it never occurred to me before the operation that when we eat we still breathe, Now, when both nostrils are suddenly blocked with surgical plugs to stem the bleeding, breathing whilst eating becomes a thing of the past and all one’s senses are set to survival. The first time I tried to swallow a drink after the op, I just couldn’t do it! My normal functions shut down and I was faced with a problem I at first had no idea how to solve. If I swallow, will I choke?
Since I was rather fond of living, I felt somewhat reluctant to jeopardize my tenuous hold on life just for a measly drink of juice. But in time, and a great thirst, I took my courage in my hands – for want of a better expression – and ventured a wee sip. Much to my surprise, and my glee, I did not expire; but all efforts to feed myself thereafter, or take a drink were still filled with trepidation.
We are never told about this basic need before the operation, or at least I wasn’t, and I suggest you practice this by pinching your nose whilst eating or drinking just to see how difficult it is. Please don’t die while you do this or I shall be very angry.
The other body function – bleeding – is a bit more problematic, but can still cause you to leave this earth prematurely, if you do not take precautions. In my operation, so many years ago now, it was the practise to remain in hospital for a week or so before checking out and going home. These days, I believe they allow you to go home either on the same day as the op, or the next day.
The problem with this is that if you have nostril plugs inserted and, for whatever reason they become dislodged (either by curiosity, or by accident) you can expect a raging torrent of blood – your blood! – to come gushing down your chest, or breast. First of all, don’t wear white! Now, if this doesn’t send you into a panic, or make you collapse in a heap on the bedroom floor, dash to the fridge and get lots of ice to place on your nose. Make a snowman/woman/person of yourself whilst in the supine position and wait for the bleeding to stop, or for you to expire, whichever comes first.
Next, that is if you haven’t shuffled off this mortal coil by now, get out the cleaning equipment and clean up the bloody mess; splattered red is bound to clash with the curtains. Or, better still, get yourself back to hospital for an instant check up, and maybe a blood transfusion, too.
The moral of this tale is that it does not pay to be hungry, thirsty – or curious!
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