Many people seeking a lawyer have an idea of what lawyers are like before they ever meet one. While this helps people universally understand lawyer jokes, it can hurt you when you need a lawyer. All lawyers are not alike, which is good, because different situations call for different approaches.
Perhaps nowhere is this truer than when you need a divorce lawyer. Before looking to consult a lawyer, you need to decide what you want or need from your divorce. Are you looking for the most possible financial support or an amicable division of assets? Are the two of you ready to split peacefully, or do you expect to fight out your issues? Is custody of children a point of contention? Finding the best lawyer depends as much on you as it does on the lawyer.
With this in mind, choosing your lawyer involves two major steps: assessing your situation and assessing the lawyers.
Know Thyself
As you prepare for your divorce, you should know what you want or need. If you and your spouse agree on who gets what, what happens to the kids and how you want to proceed, it may make the most sense to have one lawyer prepare everything for both of you. Once two lawyers are involved, you have an adversarial situation, with each attorney wanting to get the most for his or her client. There is nothing wrong with this in the abstract; the American judicial system is built on adversarial justice. The idea is that when each side is vigorously represented, the truth has the best chance to emerge, and justice will likely prevail. But when you are severing a marriage, you may feel you are both on the same page already.
On the other hand, often there are disagreements. A married couple typically has one house, and there may be a conflict over who gets the house and who pays for the house. In addition, there may be custody disputes, arguments about who is entitled to particular items or bank accounts and myriad other issues. In such situations, each person needs their own lawyer.
An adversarial divorce proceeding can still be cordial. If the primary issue in the marriage involves an affair, a fight may be inevitable. If a husband and wife have simply drifted apart, they may be able to be polite.
Know Thy Attorney
Part of the process of looking for a divorce lawyer is shopping around. A lawyer has no obligation to take you on just because she has set up a meeting with you. Likewise, you are not required to work with the first attorney you meet. You will be entrusting your lawyer with a great deal. You need to be comfortable with this person.
Before you set up meetings, do your due diligence. If any of your friends or family members has been involved in a divorce, ask about their experiences with the lawyers they hired and the lawyers they did not choose. Find out their reasons and if they were happy with their representation and results.
Next, make sure this lawyer does not have a checkered history with past clients. If you go to your state Supreme Court’s Web site, you can look up disciplinary information on a lawyer. You may also check with the local bar association. The groups supervising lawyers have no interest in letting bad or untrustworthy lawyers continue giving the rest of us a bad name. They can help steer you away from “problem” lawyers.
Finally, once you have a list of three or four lawyers to consult, set up meetings. Don’t accept representation until you are sure you have found the right person. Part of this is finding a personal comfort level that is more about following your gut than it is about any kind of checklist. You want to find someone to represent your interests. If the lawyer doesn’t appear to be listening to the details of your particular situation, be wary; she may have preconceived ideas that don’t fit with what you want or need from your divorce. However well regarded the lawyer is generally, you are not hiring a divorce lawyer to pad the lawyer’s resume; you are hiring a divorce lawyer to represent you.
Of course, you are consulting a divorce lawyer because that person knows the law better than you do. You need to listen to the lawyer as well. So long as the lawyer seems to want to apply his or her knowledge to get the results you want, it can be a good fit.
Conclusion
When looking for a divorce lawyer, you are at a difficult point in your life. A good divorce lawyer understands this and wants to help ease the transition for you. Take the time to make sure you find someone who will represent your interests well.
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