Top 5 Celebrity Boob Jobs

1. The Cast of The Real Housewives of Orange County/New York/Atlanta/New Jersey

That’s right. Gone are the days where breast implants were reserved for porn stars, strippers, and the Hollywood elite. In fact, the inverse is slowly becoming true- getting a boob job can lead to a career in television! The most extreme case being the four casts of the Housewives… franchise. Never has there been a more vapid, borderline-retarded group of people starring on their own show, with topics ranging from importing marble countertops to guessing what nationality the poolboy is. And yet, this boring-ass garbage is a smash success. But why?

It’s simple, people tune in every week because the women seem so life-like, but are in fact, not humans. They are made from a synthetic rubber, with their main focal point being their breasts, which are ideally large and sculpted out of a very similar material to that of Nerf balls. Whereas the success of young women with fake boobs is no surprise, it is impressive that old, married women can garner the same amount of attention as their much younger, more attractive counterparts.

This sensation, known as “the cougar”, has allowed women well into their forties to know the joy of wearing low-rider jeans and having Facebook accounts. With the right amount of plastic surgery, women can not only look younger but it is now socially acceptable for them to devolve back into their teenage personalities. And judging from the Housewives, ignorance is bliss.

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